The Compensation

All happened instantly. Unexpected. Decided in a short time. All I could find the next moment is that I was in my friend’s house with my school gang. Wow!! It was terrific. It was four of us. Each one poking fun at each other. Awesome man... All we could think of is whom to make the victim of our next mock session. Each one made victim at regular interval. None could abscond from being the prey. I could picture the whole event as roping the school days in front of me. I guess the walls would have started giggling and would have coupled with us provided they had the gift of the gab. A series of colourful events, which would keep me going atleast for a week. And of course, there is something inevitable when fun and laughter is all around. The foodstuffs. As I’m an erotic eater, I wouldn call whole heartedly any event memorable if food is not a cohort making the circle complete. Aunty!!! Thanks for the great lunch. Hey buddy, better luck next time. (Hee hee.. This is for the friend who missed the scrumptious lunch. You see, he’s little bit concerned about that.) There is something that’s sends a chill through your nerves when friends get together. It was campus recruitment this time. As we didn allow it to take the better of us, it didn rupture the gratification. I would the tag the day as “Terrific amusement”, “Rejuvenation of school days”.

And coming to the post title – The Compensation. This congregation was complete with amusement and laughter. Something that’s lacking in the gloomy college life. Henceforth the caption. I wouldn mind if I brand myself as a glutton, as I’m greedy for such a gathering. And of course, we are planning for 1 more.

Date of event: 13th of may
Probs with the net. Couldn post soon after it was typed.

The Passion for NOTHING

Lost the erotic passion for life
The passion to live
The passion to strive
The passion to confer the best
The passion to explore human nature
The passion to bathe in the deep sea of knowledge
The passion to draw intellectual conclusions from observations
The passion to feel the trauma of a premonition
The passion for aggressive eating habits
The passion to discover glee in the smile of a child
The passion to uncover beauty in the roses
The passion to find love in the mesmerising eyes of damsels
Alas, the last passion that survived is the passion to post “The Passion for Nothing”

Dear Anki, beckon me before I cease to exist.

I believe this one is the post in it’s most simple form. As you see, I don find any reason to make it better, because I HAVE LOST THE PASSION FOR PERFECTION.

What The World Can Tell You

On a warm summer evening, you are sitting on a bench. You are in the park. And people walking, smiling, chatting. It's fun, laughter, serenity, happiness all around you. You have a packet of chips and you are munching over it. A small kid comes near you and looks at the pack with a longing look. You really dont understand the reason for it's looks. Unable to comprehend it's weird looks, you just tend to ignore and proceed with what you do - chomping the crunchy chips. "Sounds delicious??" The kid still stares at you and starts crying. A stout fair looking lady heads towards you, drags the kid away and starts muttering. Oh... What is she murmuring all about. Pay heed to her words and this is what your ears can hear.

"Oh.. What has his parents taught him? So selfish. He could have atleast hid the packet when he spotted her coming. Just two pieces might have prevented her from wailing. That time would have been sufficient for me to take her back.."

"What's going on? Why should I give her my chips. None of my friends gave me when I asked them. Why is that lady scolding me, if that girl is crying. Sounds stupid. "

Read the passage? Sounds silly? Silly about the fact that why would you behave like that towards the kid. You did.. You did, my friend. Atleast most of you, at the age of five.

The world expects you to behave in a very matured way at a very young age. It expects you to perform you duties in the right manner and the right way. It expects you to be too good and follow a legal path. It expects you to distinguish between good and evil and choose good always. It expects that your every action has a meaning, on the basis of which, the reaction will be returned. It expects you to know how old you are rather than knowing how young you are.

The world can tell you when you are wrong. Not where you have gone wrong. At the most, the world can let you know what you are to do. But not how you are to do it. I'm not complaining about what the world hasn't given you. Jus pointing the fact you need to find your own path. It's up to you to explore your path. You know what is best for you and worst. You know what you want to do and how you have it done. After all,

It's your life and your choices

Truth Always Hurts

Not again... I wouldn drag this on and on. This will be the final concluding part of the one month excavation.

There was a waging war between my brain and heart. The heart complaining about the years that I’ve wasted in trying to learn what I was not really into. It complained of my inability to discern it myself. Bruising my psychological state, abusing me.

You see, GOOD N BAD CO - EXIST. I did have a advocate who was a good defender. The brain, praising my efforts that I’ve put in “trying to master” what I was not really capable of. My assiduousness, in trying to accomplish things, despite facing failures.

Whatever pros n cons. It was hard to accept the fact that I did not belong to the IT field. I’ve spent years together trying to learn its languages, concepts,… what not… I’ve forced myself to love it, adore it, worship it, glorify it. In fact, I considered it my first love. The past coagulated before me. And when I wrenched myself to the present, I could feel the dejection, the agony, the cessation of my dreams. And that is why I say,

TRUTH ALWAYS HURTS
Yes, it was a real trauma. People might feel that I’m insane. But you feel the throbbing when you devote yourself to something, to find out later that it’s not yours.

It’s time now, to prepare to launch myself into a new amphitheatre. But, the comps, has been my passion. So trying to eliminate it completely.... I call it the foolishness of trying to shed your blood completely or cutting down your shadows. Your white cells wouldn aid when your hemoglobin is null. Jus looking for a field which makes the perfect blend of both the culprits under investigation. Think, I'm almost done. It would take sometime. Truth always hurts. But there is a medication for everything.

And dear great friend, my heart felt thanks for helping me know the most crucial aspects of life. I’m very happy n proud to have you as my friend.

Re Excavtion of Myself - II

This piece needs a reference of the post – “re excavation of myself”. I really don wanna continue with this. Jus because I’ve promised I would be publishing, I’m obliged to this. It’s a promise that I’ve made to myself…

The night I spoke to him went off smoothly, because I didn allow those thoughts to hinder me. And the real trauma began the next morning. That’s what usually happens – your sub conscious processes what you heard n perceived in the day, in the night. And it’s outcome the next morning. I was undergoing a lot of discomfort within myself. I was trying to understand to which field I really belonged to. Which field I was good at. The field I was comfortable with. His words still resonating in my ears –

“Jus think of a work you were comfortable doing.
Something you could work on for hours together.
Something that you never got bored of.
Something you loved doing.
Something you are addicted to once you begin.”

(Hey, playing, gaming doesn count here. I’m not kidding.)

I scanned back my life. The psychological tests that I’ve undertaken (Tickle.com being the major contributor). And finally after a long hours of exploration that involved a serene expedition into myself, I reached the answer. It was the psychological arena.Generally, I could dive deep into matters related to it. I found myself comfortable while thinking about psychological matters. Could really believe it. But I “didn want” to accept it.

Finally.. People, keep exploring yourself. You don know when you are to find your real treasure.

Re Excavation of Myself

Should I... Or should I not... Connecting my mind and heart. And finally under their mutual consent I’m penning down one of the most crucial episodes of my life that happened 2 weeks back. The episode that demanded re excavation of myself.

It was a great energized evening. My mind was filled with the thoughts of the exhilarating moments that I would be having with my friends the next day. We were going out… And of course, there is always something that would hinder you when you are in a jubilant mood. Gotta call and the information one person has dropped the plan. Bit annoyed with that called him. He did give me a valid reason. And persuading him to change his decision is something I wouldn dare to do. And his decisions always have a valid reason.

Pursuing this was a long conversation of the no nonsense, expedient verity of the invaluable asset I often speak of - Life. He had his own way of making people realize of what he wanted to say. He would get the answer from them rather than giving it himself. Helping them excavate things and ushering them into the murky, mysterious tunnel of truth, where his enlightenment is the daylight. He played the same game with me. The elicitation of this mind game is an unbearable truth, which I “do not” want to digest. Well, what he was trying to help me deduce was:

“What should I really be doing in future?”

“What is that I’m really comfortable doing? “

“What field, if chosen would help me accomplish something momentous? (It was more of this)”

He gave hints and suggestions which were contradicting to what I am into now (The IT field). He was talking about the managerial and administrative domains and the extremely contravening one – psychology arena. Though I had thought about all these while ensuing my higher secondary, I strappingly felt I was into the IT sector. The passion I had for computers embraced me so firmly, that I never gave a room for those things. Hearing him say all these, I told him with a stern voice – No, I’m into the computer field. Being a sweet guy and having plotted out my psychological state at that time, he just let me resume with my assumptions. Our conversation ended and my process of excavation began. The elicitations of this excavation, in my next post................